You want to control everything I do. Have you ever thought which day will I be able to live until? Have you ever thought what if I don't get to see tomorrow? Why can't I live my life to the fullest? If I don't live till tomorrow and have regrets because you want to control everything I do, what would you do? How would you feel? Oh why am i asking you this haha. You don't even care. Life is short, isn't it? How sure are you that I'm going to live till 80yrs old? I'm only 15. I'm still growing. I have my own teenager thoughts too. My youth is only once in a life time. The moment I bid my youth goodbye, I can NEVER do what I want to do again when I was a youth. Isn't it the most important part of everyone's life? Please understand what I want, and what I'm lacking. You don't know what I'm lacking, what I'm really lacking, because you don't understand me enough yet, and you are assuming every single thing. Assumptions won't get you anywhere good. Well I once thought that you really understood me. How in the world did I think you did? ...

I happened to chance upon this girl's blog. The contents were errrrmmm...she thinks that she is very, very pretty. Just because she is a freelance model, and there were comments on her blog complimenting her looks. How did I know she thinks that she's pretty? She said on her description corner, "if you think you're prettier than me, then only you have the right to say I'm ugly." ....... ....... Means fann Wong/Jeanette aw/Zoe Tay have every right in the world to say she's ugly lor. -.- I don't think one should over self-praise oneself. It's so 不要脸. I mean come on lah every girl will have some moments in their life where by they will think they're quite good looking, sometimes jokingly also. If you don't think that way and you're a girl, there's something wrong with you LOL. You must love yourself to A CERTAIN EXTENT what. My aunt always tell me that, no matter how pretty you think you are, there will ALWAYS be people prettier than you. Same goes for if you think you're ugly, there will ALWAYS be people uglier than you. Okay stop. Define ugly. I used to think that ugly is only for physical appearance. But not anymore leh. I think ugly=black heart. I think what my aunt meant was physically lol. She's my favorite aunt please. Like the only aunt I talk to the most. The aunt who will bother to bring me out and play(when I was young), eat good food, entertain me when I'm at her house, tell me many stories etc. So good to have an aunt like her. :D

I have this big dream, that I want to fufil very much. There were a number of times where I was given opportunities to fulfill my dream, but I didn't dare to take the risk. Because as I took a step closer to grab that opportunity, I thought about the possibilities of failing. Then I turned back and go home. Home sweet home. Where I'm forever safe! I'm still so young. What if I don't get to live to see tomorrow? Then what about my dream? Nobody knows what's my dream. I always tell lies when asked "what's your dream?" :)

For that 8 days, I'm going to live like my life is perfect.

I'm left with only one option. Do I look like I have a choice?

Just how many people know that I love to sing? Stop being shocked when you all add me on fb and say "huh you like to go ktv one ah?! Can't tell leh!" -____-" what do i look like then....

Just how many people know that I love to sing? Stop being shocked when you all add me on fb and say "huh you like to go ktv one ah?! Can't tell leh!" -____-" what do i look like then....

First day at camp: trekked mountain and had long long not scary night walk. I swear I almost died during trekking. Not much man-made steps ok! I hate the feeling of "omg i almost slipped". There were so many times where I had to climb up super steep slopes, I was so.damn.scared. No protections leh! The only help was railings-made of loose ropes -.- night walk was scary at first, then slowly it became tiring, so tiring that no one bothered to be scared anymore. Boring day 1. Day2! Had my stupid period so no water activities. :( nature walk was fun. Day 3! Boring as ever. Clean up, lunch and bid farewell to msia. I was so damn happy pls. So was everyone!!:) now comes the traumatizing part. Toilets were opened air, only half of toilet floor was concrete, the rest is SOIL n GRASS. With lizards, mosquitoes, beetles, millipedes, centipedes, moths, spiders, ants AND praying mantis! Like who the hell will bathe in peace huh? Every min people screamed. Not surprising. It was so disgusting. Water was little. Lights were super dim. Thank god for torch lights. -__- tents were omg yuck got bugs everywhere! Had to clean n clean. Idk how the people live there. Its so isolated from the outside world! Their houses are like 70% old wood and 25% concrete. 5% is like those metals. Totally like singapore's 1980s' houses. Skies were super beautiful though! Cause it's at msia? Mountains? Idk. Very pretty! :) I didn't dare to pee in the day. Only in the morning, to last me throughout the day, and night time, to last me throughout my sleep. Damn sian! Be thankful that Singapore's standard of cleanliness is nowhere near that campsite. Or you will start crying. I'm dead tired now, didn't sleep well for the past 2 nights. :( I hate this camp, because I really, really wasn't happy AT ALL. All my smiles and most of my laughters were fake, in case my friends start asking me why am I so sad/irritated. I'm so nice hahaha I didn't want to affect their spirits! Heh! I only learned to cherish what I have in my life in Singapore. The activities were totally boring. Instructors didn't really bond with us much. Which was quite shocking. Because first time I see instructors not bonding well with campers. Well whatever. I'm never going back there again. I don't need such opportunities already hahahahaha.

I'm back after 6 months. I miss this blog. I miss how I always rant about my fortunate life lol. I miss posting pictures about my life. I miss blogging. I'm not addicted to it, however. :D so many things happened in the last 6 months of my life. So Many obstacles. But well I'm still well and alive here! :) I'm going to the Malaysia camp tomorow, then to Guangdong, then to choir camp, then to council camp. Well my last holidays before mugging hard for GCE O's. Mafan de Yao si but no choice. I need some blessings from God that I can pull through next year smoothly. But then again, which exam don't require hard work and effort? ;)

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I'M

GOING

TO

HOKKAIDO

IN

2

WEEKS'

TIME!!!!!!!!!!

WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!